This week after returning from leading my Guatemala yoga retreat, I found myself feeling a bit weary, and craving time to myself (ok, Rusty is always invited). It wasn’t a feeling of depletion; it was a feeling of fatigue and curiosity. I questioned this, since I had just returned from an invigorating (and successful!) vacation in paradise. Not only did I feel like I held space for my students to explore, retreat and grow, but I myself felt a deep sense of pride and belonging after having brought together and led such an amazing group of humans through the transformative process of retreat. It took a few days of settling back into the daily routine of work at the hospital and life in San Diego to regain my energy. Most days, I just craved solitude and my bed. As I have had time alone to process this experience I had with 15 other amazing individuals, I realized how much energy it takes to transform and transcend the patterns that we hold on to so tightly in our daily lives.
And how much this practice opens us up.
How much the movement of the body, the dedication to the practice, the magic of the earth, the being one with nature that has been formed by thousands of miracles to become what it is… this knowing, being and existing within it is powerful beyond measure. It created spirit-filled shifts in my psyche and my heart that I am still processing and absorbing. Not only did the physical movement and sensory enrichment act as a genesis for expanding my thoughts and creativity, but created an environment in my nervous system that allows me to keep my heart open. This little bit of opening, sometimes just a crack, can be just enough, that in moments of fear or stress, the light can still shine in. Until eventually, my heart stays open. The soul creates a wedge under the door to keep the heart ajar.
I hope you take the time you need to process your experiences. Breathe deeply, and listen to what is happening in your heart – your body will tell you, you only have to be ready to listen. My heart is still talking to me; I am continuing to listen. Ready to open up to what comes next…