Tag: me

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We are not less productive, we are just less frantic

I had the loveliest facetime catch up with my amazing friend Diane today. She is not just a deeply knowledgeable and heartfelt yoga teacher, but also a wise and connected human and friend. We were talking about social isolation, as many of us do today, and I jokingly posed the question to Diane: “Why am I so much less efficient now when I have so much more time, than I was before social isolation?” She laughed and answered, “Maybe you’re not less efficient, just less frantic.” And there it is. I let out a sigh of relief and realized how incredibly right she is. I am not getting any less done that I used to be. I’m still going to the hospital and taking care of sick patients. I’m still preparing for the publication of my next book. I’m still cooking, and caring for the dog, and cleaning the house, and sending out emails. But all this is done in a setting that is so much less frantic.

I’m no longer running myself ragged on my days away from the hospital – trying to see friends, go to the store, and get to a yoga class. Now I get to practice the same yoga class at home. Now, instead of rushing from event to event, or packing for trips, I am taking my time planning meals for myself and my partner, and taking the dog on long walks.

So today, instead of mourning the loss of “all the things” that kept me frantically busy, I will celebrate the freedom of a less frenetic way of being. Instead of rushing through my chores or my workouts, I will languish in the spaciousness. Instead of being frustrated that the dog interrupts my yoga session, I will giggle that she wants to be support this emotionally exhausted frontline worker and restart the posture sequence.

We’re doing all the same things – we are just less frantic.  Thanks, Diane. Thanks for sharing your wisdom with me, and with all of us. Let’s all find a little more perspective and space within our less-frantic socially-isolated lives.

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I am giving it all I’ve got.

This decade has been a doozy for me. Has it been for you, too? Over this past decade, I left the practice of law, broke off an engagement to pursue my dream of medicine, attended and graduated medical school and two residencies, wrote and published a book, moved into and out of a three states, completed my yoga therapy and 500-hour teacher trainings, led many yoga retreats, made friends, lost friends, fell in love, had my heart broken… and in some ways, I ended up right where I began. That’s right, 10 years ago, I was living in San Diego, and 10 years later, I have found my way back here. Teaching at the same studio (Prana), enjoying time with some of same people (that’s you, Nico), driving home to see my parents with the same dog (Rusty)… yet I, the Ingrid that was a decade ago, is so different. My heart is different. My soul is less rigid. My heart feels flexible and accepting. My soul feels open and ready. Instead of judging, I seek to listen. Instead of fear, I choose hope.

Halfway through my medical training, I almost lost hope. Seeing so much “unfairness” and suffering life (and death)… watching how human stories unraveled in the most heartbreaking ways… it almost broke me. But somehow, with the support of amazing friends and mentors, I went from thinking: “We’re all going to die, what’s the point?” to “Wait. Yes. We are all going to die… THAT’S the point!” I went from thinking that everything was hopeless and meaningless to realizing that our time is so short, so fast. And that was incredibly freeing. It made me embrace all the clichés, all the inspirational quotes. Because life IS short. So, I had better do what I can with the time I’ve got.

So here I am, giving it all I’ve got. Staying open to it all. Not knowing where this decade will take me. Knowing there will be twists and turns. Uncertainties and fears. But doing my best to keep my heart open to whatever may arise. Because… that’s the point